I've seen so many people get hurt by or walk away from the church because of surface image issues. I've watched as Christian musicians and worship leaders publicly renounced their faith because of the pressure laid on them to keep that surface image clean and pristine.

And to be honest... I was almost one of them.

I bought into that lie. I started serving in my church's worship teams, and all the while, I dove deeper and deeper into an addiction to pornography and lustful relationships…

I wanted to talk to someone but was terrified of what might happen if I did... I wanted someone to know but was too burdened by guilt and shame to let anyone get a peak. My worship was fake. I would sing in church services and try so hard to be real, only to spend the whole time calling myself every name you could think of. I've spent so many nights weeping and screaming at myself as I tried to lay out my problems before the Lord, only to bottle it all up afterwards and hold onto it even tighter.

 But then, through the Lord's anointing, every wall I had built fell, and every facade I wore was torn off. I learned the vital power of worship TOGETHER and the absolute grace of God even on my worst days!

And since then, it has been a long and uphill battle to worship authentically, to be true to myself and the calling that the Lord has given me - to help tear every wall down that stands in the way of true worship. To learn that worship is beautiful whether it's on a stage in front of thousands, through mornings with coffee and a journal, OR through snot, sweat, or tears. Our worship of God is beautiful because through it, we grow closer to Him!